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40 Naseeha Li-Islaah
il-Booyout -
The Muslim Home: 40 Recommendations
English Translation Book
by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Introduction
All praise be to Allah, we praise Him
and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from
the evil of our own selves and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allah
guides, no one can lead astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves astray,
no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah
Alone, with no partner or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad
is His slave and Messenger.
The home is a blessing.Allah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"And Allah has made for you in
your homes an abode…"[al-Nahl 16:80]
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on
him) said:
"Here Allah, may He be blessed and
exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His slaves: He
has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them, to which
they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives them all kinds
of benefits."
What does the home represent to each
one of us? Is it not the place where he eats, enjoys intimacy with
his wife, sleeps and rests? Is it not the place where he can be
alone and can meet with his wife and children?
Is the home not the place that offers
cover and protection to women? Allah tells us (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And stay in your
houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of
ignorance…"[al-Ahzaab 33:33]
If you think about those who are homeless,
who live in shelters, or on the streets, or as refugees scattered
in temporary camps, then you will realize the blessing of having
a home. If you listen to a distressed homeless person saying, "I
have nowhere to settle, no fixed place to stay. Sometimes I sleep
in so and so’s house, sometimes in a café or park or on the
sea-front, and I keep my clothes in my car", then you will realize
the disruption that results from not having the blessing of a home.
When Allah punished the Jews of Banu
Nadeer, He took away this blessing and expelled them from their
homes, as He said (interpretation of the meaning):
"He it is Who drove out the disbelievers
among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the tribe
of Banu al-Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering."
Then He said:
"...they destroyed
their own dwellings with their own hands and the hands of the
believers. Then take admonition, O you with eyes (to see)."[al-Hashr59:2]
There are many motives for the believer
to pay attention to putting his house in order.
Firstly: protecting himself and his
family from the Fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the burning
punishment:
"O you who believe!
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose
fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern
(and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they
receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." [al-Tahreem
66:6]
Secondly: the great responsibility
borne by the head of the household on the Day of Reckoning The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Allah will ask every shepherd (or
responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible),
whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man
about his household."
Thirdly: the home is a place to protect
oneself, to keep away from evil and to keep one's own evil away
from people. It is the refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah
(strife, tribulation).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"Blessed is the one who controls
his tongue, whose house is sufficient for him, and who weeps over
his mistakes."
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"There are five things, whoever does
one of them, Allah will be with him: visiting the sick, going
out for jihad, entering upon his leader with the intention of
rebuking and respecting him, or sitting in his home so that the
people are safe from him and he is safe from the people."
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"The safety of a man at times of
fitnah is in his staying home."
The Muslim can see the benefit of this
advice when he is residing in a foreign land where he is unable
to change much of the evil around him. Then he will have a refuge
which, when he enters it, will protect him from doing haram things
or looking at haram things, and will protect his wife from wanton
display and unveiling, and will protect his children from bad company.
Fourthly: people usually spend most
of their time at home, especially when it is very hot or very cold,
when it is raining, early or late in the day, and after finishing
work or school, so this time should be spent in worship and halal
pursuits, otherwise it will be spent in wrongdoing.
Fifthly and most importantly, paying
attention to the home is the most important means of building a
Muslim society, because the society is formed of the households
and families that form its building blocks. Households form neighborhoods,
and neighborhoods form societies. If the building blocks are sound,
the society will be based on the laws of Allah, standing firm in
the face of enemies and filled with goodness that evil cannot penetrate.
Then Muslim homes will produce pillars of society who will reform
and guide it aright, such as exemplary dai’yahs, seekers of
knowledge, sincere mujahideen, righteous wives, caring mothers and
all other types of reformers.
Because this subject is so important,
and our homes are full of so many shortcomings and evils and examples
of negligence, this begs the very important question: What are the
means of reforming our homes?
The following contains advice on this
topic. May Allah benefit us from it, and cause the Muslims to focus
their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
All the following advice revolves around
two things: achieving our interests, which is by establishing that
which is right and good, and warding off evil, by removing that
which can cause it or bring it into our homes.
Forming the Household
Making a good choice when choosing
a wife:
"And marry those
among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no wife and a woman
who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit
and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female
slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty.
And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing
(about the state of the people)." [al-Noor 24:32]
The head of the household must select
a righteous and suitable wife based on the following conditions
described in various Ahaadeeth:
"A woman may be married for four
things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose
the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e.,
may you prosper]!" (Agreed upon).
"This world is all temporary conveniences,
and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife." (Reported
by Muslim, 1468).
"Let every one of you have a thankful
heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allah] and a believing
wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter." (Reported
by Ahmad, 5/282, and al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah from Thawbaan.
Sahih al-Jaami’, 5231).
According to another report: "A righteous
wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the
best treasure anyone could have." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi. Sahih
al-Jaami’, 4285).
"Marry one who is loving and fertile,
for I will be proud before the other Prophets of your great numbers
on the Day of Resurrection." (Reported by Ahmad. Sahih al-Irwa’,
6/195).
"I advise you to marry virgins, for
their wombs are more fresh, their mouths are more sweet and they
are more content with little." According to another report: "…
and they are less likely to deceive." (Reported by Ibn Maajah.
Al-Silsilah al-Sahih, 623).
Just as a righteous wife is one of
the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four
elements of misery, as it says in the Sahih hadeeth:
"One of (the elements of) happiness
is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and
when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard
to herself and your property. And one of (the elements of) misery
is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps
attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel
that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property."
On the other hand, it is also essential
to look at the situation of the prospective husband who is proposing
marriage to the Muslim woman, and to agree to his proposal in accordance
with the following conditions:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"If there comes to you one with whose
religion and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter
[or sister, etc.] to him, otherwise there will be fitnah and great
corruption in the land."
All of the above must be achieved through
asking the right questions, verifying facts, gathering information
and checking sources, so that the home will not be corrupted or
destroyed.
"The righteous man and
righteous woman together will build a righteous home, because the
vegetation of a good land comes forth (easily) by the Permission
of its Lord, and that which is bad, brings forth nothing but a little
with difficulty…" [al-A’raaf 7:58}
Striving to guide ones wife
If one's wife is righteous, this is
a blessing indeed, and this is from the Bounty of Allah. If she
is not that righteous, then it is the duty of the head of the household
to strive to guide her. Any of the following scenarios may apply:
A man may marry a woman who is not
religious in the first place, because he himself is not religious
at first, or he may have married her in the hope of guiding her,
or under pressure from his relatives, for example. In these cases
he must strive hard to guide her.
A man must also realize from the outset
that guidance comes from Allah, and that Allah is the One Who reforms
people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariya was, as He said
(interpretation of the meaning):
"… and [We]
cured his wife for him…"[al-Anbiya’ 21:90].
This curing or reforming may have been
physical or religious. Ibn ‘Abbaas said:
"She was barren and could not have
children, then she had a child."
Ataa’ said:
"She was harsh of tongue, and Allah
reformed her."
There are various means of guiding
or reforming ones wife, such as:
- Paying attention to correcting her
worship of Allah in all its aspects, as will be discussed in detail
below.
- Striving to strengthen her eemaan,
such as:
- Encouraging her to pray at night
(qiyaam al-layl)
- Encouraging her to read Qur'an
- Encouraging her to memorize
adhikaar (remembrance of Allah) and remember the appropriate
times and occasions for saying them
- Encouraging her to give charity
- Encouraging her to read useful
Islamic books
- Encouraging her to listen to
useful Islamic cassettes that can increase knowledge and strengthen
eemaan – and continuing to supply her with them.
- Choosing good, religious friends
for her, with whom she can form ties of sisterhood and have
good conversations and purposeful visits.
- Protecting her from evil and
blocking off all avenues for it to reach her, by keeping her
away from bad companions and bad places.
Creating an Atmosphere of Faith
in the Home
Making the home a place for the remembrance
of Allah
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"The likeness of a house in which
Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered
is that of the living and the dead, respectively."
We must make our homes places where
Allah is remembered in all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts,
verbally, during prayer, by reading Qur'an, by discussing Islamic
issues, or by reading different kinds of Islamic books.
How many Muslim homes nowadays are
dead because there is no remembrance of Allah, as mentioned in the
hadeeth. What must they be like when all that is heard therein is
the music of Shaytan with instruments and singing, and backbiting,
slander and gossip?
What must they be like when they are
filled with evil and sin, such as the haram mixing of the sexes
and wanton display between relatives who are not mahram or with
neighbors who enter the home?
How can the angels enter a home like
this? Revive your homes with all kinds of dhikr, may Allah have
mercy on you!
What is meant is taking the home as a place of worship?
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And We inspired
Moosa and his brother (saying): ‘Take dwellings for your
people in Egypt, and make your dwellings as places for your worship,
and perform al-salah, and give glad tidings to the believers."
[Qur'an Yoonus 10:87]
Ibn ‘Abbaas said:
"They were commanded to take their
dwellings as places of prayer [lit. mosques]."
Ibn Katheer said:
"This – and Allah knows best
– was because of the intensity of the tribulation that they
were facing from Pharaoh and his people. They were commanded to
pray much, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):‘O
you who believe! Seek help with patience and prayer…’
[al-Baqarah 2:153], and as it was reported in the hadeeth that
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him),
when he was distressed by something, would pray."
This explains the importance of worshipping
at home, especially at times when the Muslims are in a position
of weakness, as happens in some places where the Muslims cannot
pray openly in front of the kuffaar. In this context we may think
of the mihraab of Maryam, which was her place of worship, as Allah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"… Every time
Zakariya entered the mihraab to visit her, he found her supplied
with sustenance…"[Aal ‘Imraan 3:37]
The Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with
them) used to be keen to pray at home – apart from the fard
or obligatory prayers (which they prayed in congregation in the
mosque) – and there is a moving story concerning this.
Mahmood ibn al-Rabee’ al-Ansaari
reported that ‘Utbaan ibn Maalik – who was one of
the Companions of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) and was one of the Ansaar who had been present at
Badr – came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) and said: "I am losing my sight, and I lead
my people in prayer. When it rains, the valley between me and
them gets flooded and I cannot get to their mosque to lead them
in prayer. O Messenger of Allah, I would like you to come to come
and pray in my house so that I can take it as a place for prayer."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said, "I will do that, in sha Allah."; ‘Utbaan said: "The
next day the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) and Abu Bakr came in the morning. The Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) asked for permission
to enter, and I gave him permission. He did not sit down until
he entered the house, then he said, ‘Where would you like
me to pray in your house?’ I showed him a corner of the
house, then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) stood up, said Takbeer, and we stood in a row behind
him, and he prayed two rak’ahs and gave the salaam at the
end of the prayer." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 1/519)
Spiritual training for the members
of the household
Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with
her) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) used to pray qiyaam at night, and when he prayed witr
he would say, ‘Get up and pray witr, O ‘Aa’ishah’"
(Reported by Muslim, Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 6/23).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said: "May Allah have mercy on a man who gets
up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if
she refuses he throws water in her face." (Reported by Ahmad and
Abu Dawood. Sahih al-Jaami’, 3488).
Encouraging the women of one's household
to give charity is another means of increasing faith. This is something
very important which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) encouraged, when he said, "O women! Give in charity, for
I have seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell."
(Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 1/405).
One of the new ideas is to have a box
at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in
the box belongs to them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim
home.
If the family members see an example
among them fasting on al-Ayyaam al-Beed (the 13th, 14th
and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays,
Taasoo’aa’ and ‘Aashooraa’ (the 9th
and 10th of Muharram), ‘Arafaah, and frequently
in Muharram and Sha’baan, this will be a motive for them to
do likewise.
Paying attention to adhkaar and Sunnah
du'a’s that have to do with the home
Adkhaar for entering the home:
Muslim reported in his Sahih that the
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"When any one of you enters his home
and mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats,
the Shaytan says: ‘You have no place to stay and nothing
to eat here.’ If he enters and does not mention the name
of Allah when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, ‘You have a
place to stay.’ If he does not mention the name of Allah
when he eats, [the Shaytan says], ‘You have a place to stay
and something to eat.’" (Reported by Imam Ahmad, al-Musnad,
3/346; Muslim, 3/1599).
Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said:
"If a man goes out of his house and
says, ‘Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allah, laa hawla
wa laa quwwata illaa Billaah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust
in Allah, there is no help and no strength except in Allah),’
it will be said to him, ‘This will take care of you, you
are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.’
The Shaytan will stay away from him, and another shaytan will
say to him, ‘What can you do with a man who is guided, provided
for and protected?’" (Reported by Abu Dawood and al-Tirmidhi.
Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 499)
Siwaak
Imam Muslim reported in his Sahih that
‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
"When the Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) entered his house, the first
thing he would do was use siwaak." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab
al-Tahaarah, chapter 15, no. 44).
Continuously reciting Surah al-Baqarah
in the house to ward off the Shaytan
There are a number of Ahaadeeth concerning
this, such as:
the Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not make your houses
into graves. The Shaytan flees from a house in which Surah al-Baqarah
is recited." (Reported by Muslim, 1/539)
The Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Recite Surah al-Baqarah
in your houses, for the Shaytan does not enter a house in which
Surah al-Baqarah is recited." (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak.
1/561; Sahih al-Jaami’, 1170).
Concerning the virtues of the last
two aayaat of this soorah, and the effect of reciting them in one’s
house, he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Allah wrote a document two thousand
years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept
near the Throne, and He revealed two aayaat of it with which He
concluded Surah al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for
three consecutive nights, the Shaytan will not approach it." (Reported
by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 4/274, and others. Sahih al-Jaami’,
1799).
Islamic Knowledge in the Home
Teaching the family
This is an obligation which the head
of the household must undertake, in obedience to the command of
Allah (interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe!
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose
fuel is men and stones…" [al-Tahreem 66:6]
This aayah is the basic principle regarding
the teaching and upbringing of one's family, and enjoining them
to do what is good and forbidding them to do what is evil. There
follow some of the comments of the mufassireen on this aayah, in
so far as it pertains to the duties of the head of the household.
Qutaadah said:
"He should command them to obey Allah,
and forbid them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance
with the commands of Allah, and help them to do that."
Dahhaak and Muqaatil said:
"It is the Muslim’s duty to
teach his family, including relatives and female slaves, what
Allah has enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden."
‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with
him) said:
"Teach them and discipline them."
Al-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on
him) said:
"We must teach our children and wives
the religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good manners.
If the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) used to urge the teaching of female servants, who were slaves,
what do you think about your children and wives, who are free?"
Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on
him) said in his Sahih:
"Chapter: a man’s teaching
his female slaves and wife."
Then he quoted the hadeeth of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
"There are three who will have two
rewards: … a man who has a female slave whom he teaches
good manners and teaches her well, and teaches her knowledge,
and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he will
have two rewards."
Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on
him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:
"The chapter heading refers specifically
to female slaves, and to wives by analogy, i.e., teaching one’s
free wife about her duties towards Allah and the Sunnah of His
Messenger is more clearly essential than teaching one's female
slaves."
In the midst of all a man’s activities,
work and other commitments, he may forget to allow himself time
for teaching his wife. One solution to this is to allocate some
time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold
a study-circle at home. He can let everyone know the time and encourage
them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment
for him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on
him) said:
"Chapter: can the women be given
a day exclusively for them to seek knowledge?"
and quoted the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed
al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him):
"The women said to the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him): ‘The men always crowd
us out and we cannot reach you, so set aside a day for us when
we can come to you.’ So he set aside a day when he would
meet them and teach them."
Ibn Hajar said:
"A similar report was narrated by
Sahl ibn Abi Saalih from Abu Hurayrah, according to which [the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] said: ‘Your
appointment is in the house of so and so,’ and he came to
them and spoke to them.’"
What we learn from this is that women
should be taught in their houses, and we see how keen the women
of the Sahaabah were to learn. Directing teaching efforts to men
alone, and not to women, is a serious shortcoming on the part of
dai’yahs and heads of households.
Some readers may ask, suppose we set
aside a day, and tell our families about it – what should
we study in these gatherings? Where do we begin?
I suggest that you begin with a simple
program to teach your family in general, and the women in particular,
using the following books:
- The tafseer of al-‘Allaamah
Ibn Sa’di, entitled Tayseer al-Kareem al-Rahmaan fi Tafseer
Kalaam al-Mannaan, which is published in seven volumes and is
written in an easy style; you can read it or teach somes soorahs
and passages from it.
- Riyaadh al-Saaliheen – you
could discuss the ahaadeeth quoted, along with the footnotes and
the lessons learned from them. You could also refer to the book
Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen.
- Hasan al-Uswah bimaa thubita ‘an
Allahi wa Rasoolihi fi’l-Nuswah, by al-‘Allaamah Siddeeq
Hasan Khaan.
It is also important to teach women
some of the ahkaam of fiqh, such as the rulings on tahaarah (purity)
and menstrual and post-partum bleeding, salah, Zakaah, siyam (fasting)
and hajj, if she is able to go; some of the rulings on food and
drink, clothing and adornment, the Sunan al-fitrah, rulings on maharim
(who is a mahram relative and who is not), rulings on singing and
photography, and so on. Among the important sources of such information
are the fatwas (rulings or edicts) of the scholars, such as the
collections of fatwas by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz
and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, and other scholars,
whether they are written fatwas or fatwas recorded on tapes.
Another matter that may be included
in a syllabus for teaching women and family members is reminding
them of lessons or public lectures given by trustworthy scholars
and seekers of knowledge which they can attend, so they can have
a variety of excellent sources for learning. We should not forget
either the radio programs of Idhaa’at al-Qur'an al-Kareem;
another means of teaching is reminding family members of the particular
days when women can attend Islamic bookstores, and taking them there,
within the guidelines of sharee’ah [i.e., proper hijab, etc.]
Start building an Islamic "library"
in your home
Another thing that will help in teaching
your family and letting them develop a understanding of their religion
and help them adhere to its rules, is having one’s own Islamic
library at home. It does not have to be extensive; what matters
is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily
accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.
You could put books in a clean and
tidy corner of the living room and in a suitable place in a bedroom
or guest room; this will make it easy for any member of the family
to read constantly.
In order to build a library properly
– and Allah loves things to be done properly – you should
include references so that family members can research various matters
and children can use them for their studies. You should also include
books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can
all use them. You should also have books for giving to guests, children’s
friends and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively
presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification
of the Ahaadeeth properly given. You can make the most of Islamic
bookstores and exhibitions to build a home library, after consulting
and seeking advice from those who have experience in the field of
books. One way in which you can help family members to find a book
when they want it is to organize the books according to subject,
with books of Tafseer on one shelf, books of hadeeth on another,
fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family members could also
compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make
it easier to look for books.
Many of those who want to start a home
library may ask for titles of Islamic books. Here are a few suggestions:
Many of these books have now been translated into english.
Tafseer:
- Tafseer Ibn Katheer
- Tafseer Ibn Sa’di
- Zubdat al-Tafseer by al-Ashkar
- Badaa’i’ al-Tafseer
by Ibn al-Qayyim
- Usool al-Tafseer by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
- Lamahaat fi ‘Uloom al-Qur'an
by Muhammad al-Sabbaagh
Hadeeth
- Sahih al-Kalim al-Tayyib
- ‘Aml al-Muslim fi’l-Yawm
wa’l-Laylah (or: Al-Sahih al-Musnad min Adhkaar al-Yawm
wa’l-Laylah)
- Riyaadh al-Saaliheen and its commentary
Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen
- Mukhtasar Sahih al-Bukhari by al-Zubaydi
- Mukhtasar Sahih Muslim by al-Mundhiri
and al-Albaani
- Sahih al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer
- Da’eef al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer
- Sahih al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb
- Al-Sunnah wa Makaanatuhaa fi’l-Tashree’
- Qawaa’id wa fawaa’id
min al-Arba’een al-Nawawiyyah by Naazim Sultaan
Aqeedah
- Fath al-Majeed Sharh Kitaab al-Tawheed
(edited by al-Arnaa’oot)
- A’laam al-Sunnah al-Manshoorah
by al-Hakami (ed.)
- Sharh al-‘Aqeedah al-Tahhaawiyyah,
edited by al-Albaani
- The series on ‘Aqeedah by
Umar Sulaymaan al-Ashqar in 8 parts
- Ashraat al-Saa’ah by Dr. Yoosuf
al-Waabil
Fiqh
- Manaar al-Sabeel by Ibn Duwiyyaan
- Irwa’ al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani
- Zaad al-Ma’aad
- al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah
- Fiqh al-Sunnah [also available in
English translation]
- Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Saalih
al-Fawzaan
- Collections of fatwas by different
scholars (‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Muhammad Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen, ‘Abd-Allah ibn Jibreen)
- Sifat Salah al-Nabi (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) by Shaykh al-Albaani and Shaykh ‘Abd
al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz [available in English under the title
The Prophet’s Prayer Described]
- Mukhtasar Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz
by al-Albaani
- Good manners and purification of
the soul:
- Tahdheeb Madaarij al-Saalikeen
- Al-Fawaa’id
- Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi
- Tareeq al-Hijratayn wa Baab al-Sa’aadatayn
- Al-Waabil al-Sayib
- Raafi’ al-Kalim al-Tayyib
by Ibn al-Qayyim
- Lataa’if al-Ma’aarif
by Ibn Rajab
- Tahdheeb Maw’izat al-Mu’mineen
- Ghadhaa’ al-Albaab
- Seerah and biographies
- Al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah
by Ibn Katheer
- Mukhtasar al-Shamaa’il al-Muhammadiyyah
by al-Tirmidhi, abridged by al-Albaani
- Al-Raheeq al-Makhtoom by al-Mubaarakpoori
[available in English translation]
- Al-‘Awaasim min al-Qawaasim
by Ibn al-‘Arabi, ed. by al-Khateeb and al-Istanbooli
- Al-Mujtama’ al-Madani (2 vols.)
by Shaykh Akram al-‘Umari [available in English under the
title Madinan Society at the Time of the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him)]
- Siyar A’lam al-Nubala’
- Minhaj Kitaabat al-Taareekh al-Islaami
by Muhammad ibn Saamil al-Salami
There are many other good books on
various topics, such as those by:
- Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Abd al-Wahhaab
- Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn
Naasir al-Sa’di
- Shaykh ‘Umar Sulaymaan ibn
Ashqar
- Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Ismaa’eel
al-Muqaddim
- Prof. Muhammad Muhammad Husayn
- Shaykh Muhammad Jameel Zayno
- Prof. Husayn al-‘Awayishah’s
books on al-Raqaa’iq (topics to soften the heart and strengthen
eemaan)
- Al-Eemaan by Muhammad Na’eem
Yaaseen
- Al-Walaa’ wa’l-Baraa’
by Shaykh Muhammad Sa’eed al-Qahtaani [available in English
translation]
- Al-Inhiraafaat al-‘Aqdiyyah
fi’l-Qarnayn al-Thaani ‘Ashara wa’l-Thaalith
‘Ashara by ‘Ali ibn Bukhayt al-Zahraani
- Al-Muslimoon wa Zaahirat al-Hazeemah
al-Nafsiyyah by ‘Abd-Allah al-Shabaanah
- Al-Mar’ah bayn al-Fiqh wa’l-Qaanoon
by Mustafa al-Sibaa’i
- Al-Usrah al-Muslimah amaam al-video
wa’l-tilifiziyon by Marwaan Kijik
- Al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah I’daadaatuhaa
wa mas’ooliyaatuhaa by Ahmad Abu Bateen
- Mas’ooliyat al-Abb al-Muslim
fi Tarbiyat Waladihi by ‘Adnaan Baahaarith
- hijab al-Muslimah by Ahmad al-Baaraazi
- Wa Jaa’a Dawr al-Maajoos by
‘Abd-Allah Muhammad al-Ghareeb
- Books by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
- Abhaath al-Shaykh Mashoor Hasan
Salmaan
There are many other useful, good books
– what we have mentioned is only by way of example, and is
by no means a complete list. There are also many useful pamphlets
and booklets, but it would take too long to list everything. The
Muslim should consult others and think hard. Whomever Allah wishes
good for, He helps him to understand His religion.
Home audio library
Having a cassette player in every home
may be used for good or for evil. How can we use it in a manner
that is pleasing to Allah?
One of the ways in which we can achieve
this is to have a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes
by scholars, fuqaha’, lecturers, and preachers.
Listening to tapes of Qur'an recitation
by some Imam's, for example those recorded during Taraaweeh prayers,
will have a great impact on family members, whether by impressing
upon them the meanings of the Revelation, or by helping them to
memorize Qur'an because of repeated listening. It will also protect
them by letting them hear Qur'anic recitation rather than the music
and singing of the shaytan, because it is not right for the words
of al-Rahman (Allah) to be mixed with the music of the Shaytan in
the heart of the believer.
Tapes of fatwas may have a great effect
on family members and help them to understand various rulings, which
will have an impact on their daily lives.
Muslims must also pay attention to
the sources from which they take fatwas, because this is the matter
of religion, so look to where you take your religion from. You should
take it from someone who is known to be righteous and pious, who
bases his fatwas on sound Ahaadeeth, who is not fanatical in his
adherence to a Madhab, who follows sound evidence and adheres to
a middle path without being either extreme or too lenient. Ask an
expert.
"… Allah, Most
Gracious: ask, then about Him of any acquainted (with such things)."
[al-Furqan 25:59]
Listening to lectures by those who
are striving to raise the awareness of the ummah, establish proof
and denounce evil, is very important for establishing individual
personalities in the Muslim home.
There are many tapes and lectures,
and the Muslim needs to know the features of the sound methodology
so as to distinguish sound lecturers from others and look for their
tapes, which they can listen to with confidence. Among these features
are:
- The lecturer should be a believer
in the ‘Aqeedah of, Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah,
adhering to the Sunnah. The speaker should be moderate, neither
extremist nor lenient.
- He should base his talks on sound
Ahaadeeth, and beware of weak and fabricated Ahaadeeth.
- He should have insight and understanding
as to people's situations and the realities of the ummah, and
should offer the appropriate remedy for any problem, giving the
people what they need.
- He should speak the truth as much
as he can, and not utter falsehood or please the people by angering
Allah.
We often find that tapes for children
have a great influence on them, whether by helping them to memorize
Qur'an by listening to a young reader, or du'a’s to be recited
at various times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or nasheeds
(religious "songs" with no instrumental accompaniment except the
duff) with a useful message, and so on.
Putting tapes in drawers in an organized
fashion will make it easier to find them, and will also protect
them from getting damaged or from being played with by young children.
We should distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others
after listening to them. Having a recorder in the kitchen will be
very useful for the lady of the house, and having a recorder in
the bedroom will help a person make good use of time until the last
moments of the day.
Inviting good and righteous people
and seekers of knowledge to visit the home.
"My Lord! Forgive
me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer,
and all the believing men and women…" [Nooh 71:28]
If people of faith enter your home,
it will increase in light (noor), and will bring many benefits because
of your conversations and discussion with them. The bearer of musk
will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will
find that he has a pleasant scent. When children, brothers and parents
sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or
screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to
all. If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep
bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.
Learning the Islamic rulings with regard
to houses.
These include:
Praying in the house
With regard to men, the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"The best of prayer is a man’s
prayer in his house – apart from the prescribed prayers."
(Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, no. 731)
It is obligatory to pray (the five
daily prayers) in the mosque, except if there is a valid excuse.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
also said:
"A man’s voluntary prayers
in his house will bring more reward than his voluntary prayers
at other people’s places, just as his obligatory prayers
with the people are better than his obligatory prayers alone."
(Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah. Sahih al-Jaami’, 2953)
With regard to women, the deeper inside
her home her place of prayer is, the better, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"The best prayer for women is [that
offered] in the furthest part of their houses." (Reported by al-Tabaraani.
Sahih al-Jaami’, 3311)
A man should not be led in prayer in
his own home, and no one should sit in the place where the master
of the house usually sits, except with his permission. The Messenger
of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"A man should not be led in prayer
in his place of authority, and no one should sit in his place
in his house, except with his permission." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
no. 2772)
I.e., no one should go forward to lead
him in prayer, even if they recite Qur'an better than he does, in
a place that he owns or where he has authority, such as a householder
in his home, or an Imam in a mosque. Similarly, it is not permitted
to sit in the private spot of the head of the master of the house,
such as a bed or mattress, etc., except with his permission.
Seeking permission to enter
"O you who believe!
Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission
and greeted those in them, that is better for you, in order that
you may remember. And if you find no one therein, still, enter
not until permission has been given. And if you are asked to go
back, go back, for it is purer for you. And Allah is All-Knower
of what you do." [al-Noor 24:27-28 ]
"… so enter
houses through their proper doors…" [al-Baqarah 2:189]
It is permissible to enter houses that
are empty if one has some legitimate business there, such as a house
prepared for guests.
"There is no sin
on you that you enter (without taking permission) houses uninhabited
(i.e., not possessed by anybody), (when) you have any interest
in them. And Allah has knowledge of what you reveal and what you
conceal." [al-Noor 24:29]
Not feeling too shy to eat in the houses
of friends and relatives, and in houses of friends and relatives
and others to which one has the keys, if they have no objection
to that.
"There is no restriction
on the blind, nor any restriction on the lame, nor any restriction
on the sick, nor on yourselves, if you eat from your houses, or
the houses of your fathers, or the houses of your mothers, or
the houses of your brothers, or the houses of your sisters, or
the houses of your father’s brothers, or the houses of your
father’s sisters, or the houses of your mother’s brothers,
or the houses of your mother’s sisters, or (from that) whereof
you hold keys, or (from the house) of a friend. No sin on you
whether you eat together or apart…" [al-Noor 24:61]
Telling children and servants not to
barge in to the parents’ bedroom without permission at the
times when people usually sleep, i.e., before Fajr, at siesta time
and after ‘Isha’, lest they see something inappropriate.
If they see something accidentally at other times, this is forgivable,
because they are tawwaafeen (those who go about in the house) and
it is difficult to stop them. Allah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"O you who believe!
Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who
have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before
they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr prayer,
and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and
after the ‘Isha prayer. (These) three times are of privacy
for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them
to move about, - attending (helping) you each other. Thus Allah
makes clear the ayat (verses of this Qur'an, showing proofs for
the legal aspects of permission for visits, etc.) to you. And
Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise." [al-Noor 24:57]
It is forbidden to look into the houses
of other people without their permission. The Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Whoever looks into someone’s
house without their permission, put his eyes out, and there is
no diyah or qisaas [blood money or retaliation] in this case."
(Reported by Ahmad, al-Musnad, 2/385; Sahih al-Jaami, 6046)
A woman who has been divorced by talaq
for a first or second time [and could still go back to her husband]
should not leave or be made to leave her home during the ‘iddah,
and she should still be supported financially. Allah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"O Prophet! When
you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘iddah (prescribed
periods), and count (accurately) their ‘iddah (periods).
And fear Allah your Lord (O Muslims), and turn them not out of
their (husband’s) homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave,
except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse.
And those are the set limits of Allah. And whoever transgresses
the set limits of Allah, then indeed he has wronged himself. You
(the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allah
will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e., to return her
back to you, if this as the first or second divorce)." [al-Talaaq
65:1]
It is permissible for a man to forsake
his rebellious wife inside or outside the home, according to the
interests prescribed by sharee’ah in any given case. The evidence
for forsaking her inside the home is the ayah (interpretation of
the meaning): "… refuse to share their beds…" [al-Nisa’
4:34]. With regard to forsaking women outside the home, this is
what happened when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) forsook his wives, leaving them in their apartments
and staying in a room outside the houses of his wives. (Reported
by al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Talaq, Baab fi’l-Eelaa’).
One should not stay alone overnight
in the house. Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade
being alone and said that a man should not stay overnight alone
or travel alone. (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/91). This is
because of the feelings of loneliness etc., that come from being
alone, and also because of the possibility of attacks by enemies
or robbers, or the possibility of sickness. If one has a companion,
he can help fight off attacks, and can help if one gets sick. (See
al-Fath al-Rabbaani, 5/64).
Not sleeping on the roof of a house
that has no protecting wall, lest one fall. The Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Whoever sleeps on the roof of a
house that has no protecting wall, nobody is responsible for what
happens to him." (Reported by Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, no. 5041;
Sahih al-Jaami, 6113; its commentary is in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood,
13/384)
This is because one who is asleep may
roll over in his sleep, and if there is no wall he may fall off
the roof and be killed. In such a case, nobody would be to blame
for his death; or his negligence would cause Allah to lift His protection
from him, because he did not take the necessary precautions. The
hadeeth may mean either.
Pet cats do not make vessels naajis
(impure) if they drink from them, or make food naajis if they eat
from it. ‘Abd-Allah ibn Abi Qutaadah reported from his father
that water was put out for him to make wudoo’, and a cat came
and lapped at the water. He took the water and did wudoo’
with it, and they said, "O Abu Qutaadah! The cat drank from it."
He said, I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) say:
‘Cats are part of the household,
and they are among those who go around in your houses.’
(Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Sahih al-Jaami’,
3694)
According to another report he said:
"They [cats] are not naajis; they
are among those who go around [al-tawwaafeen wa’l-tawwaafaat
– refers to children, servants, etc.] in your houses." (Reported
by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Sahih al-Jaami’, 2437)
Knowing the advantages of khushoo'
in Salah
These include:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said:
"There is no Muslim man who, when
the time for a prescribed prayer comes, he does wudoo’ properly,
has the proper attitude of khushoo’, and bows properly,
but it will be an expiation for all his previous sins, so long
as they were not major sins (kabeerah). And this is the case for
life" (Reported by Muslim, 1/206, no. 7/4/2)
The reward recorded is in proportion
to the degree of khushoo’, as the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said:
"A slave may pray and have nothing
recorded for it except a tenth of it, or a ninth, or an eighth,
or a seventh, or a sixth, or a fifth, or a quarter, or a third,
or a half." (Reported by Imam Ahmad; Sahih al-Jaami’, 1626).
Only the parts of his prayer where
he focused and concentrated properly will be of any avail to him.
It was reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas (May Allah be pleased with
him) said:
"You will only have from your prayer
that which you focused on."
Sins will be forgiven if you concentrate
properly and have full khushoo’, as the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"When a slave stands and prays, all
his sins are brought and placed on his head and shoulders. Every
time he bows or prostrates, some of them fall from him." (Reported
by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa, 3/10; see also Sahih al-Jaami’)
Al-Manaawi said: "What is meant is
that every time a pillar (essential part) of the prayer is completed,
part of his sins fall from him, until when he finishes his prayer,
all his sins will be removed. This is in a prayer where all the
conditions are met and the essential parts are complete. What
we understand from the words "slave" and "stands" is that he is
standing before the King of Kings [Allah] in the position of a
humble slave." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa,
3/10; see also Sahih al-Jaami’)
The one who prays with khushoo’
will feel lighter when he finishes his prayer, as if his burdens
have been lifted from him. He will feel at ease and refreshed, so
that he will wish he had not stopped praying, because it is such
a source of joy and comfort for him in this world. He will keep
feeling that he is in a constricting prison until he starts to pray
again; he will find comfort in prayer instead of wanting just to
get it over and done with. Those who love prayer say: we pray and
find comfort in our prayer, just as their leader, example and Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "O Bilaal, let
us find comfort in prayer." He did not say "Let us get it over and
done with."- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said, "My joy has been made in prayer." So whoever finds his joy
in prayer, how can he bear to look for joy anywhere else, or to
keep away from it?
(Al-Waabil al-Sayib, 37).
Striving to offer du'a’ at the
appropriate times during the prayer, especially in sujood
There is no doubt that talking to Allah,
humbling oneself before Him, asking things from Him and earnestly
seeking His help, all help to strengthen the slave’s ties
to his Lord and increase his khushoo’. Du'a’ is an act
of worship, and we are commanded to make du'a’. Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning): "… call upon Him in humility
and in secret…" [al-An’aam 6:63]. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever does not call
on Allah, Allah will be angry with him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
Kitaab al-Da’waat, 1/426; classed as hasan in Sahih al-Tirmidhi,
2686).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to make du'a’ at
specific places in the prayer, i.e., in sujood, between the two
prostration's and after the Tashahhud. The greatest of these is
in sujood, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said, "The closest that the slave can be to his Lord is
when he is prostrating, so increase your du'a’ [at that time]."
(Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salah, Baab maa yuqaalu fi’l-rukoo’
wa’l-sujood. No. 215). And he said: "… As for sujood,
strive hard to make du'a’ in it, for it is bound to be answered
for you." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salah, Baab al-Nahy ‘an
qiraa’at al-Qur'an fi’l rukoo’ wa’l-sujood,
no. 207).
One of the du'a’s which the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to recite in his
sujood was: "Allahumma’ghfir li dhanbi diqqahu wa jillahu
wa awwalahu wa aakhirahu wa ‘alaaniyatahu wa sirrahu (O Allah,
forgive me my sins, the minor and the major, the first and the last,
the open and the hidden)." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salah,
Baab ma yuqaalu fi’l-rukoo’ wa’l-sujood, no. 216).
He also used to say, "Allahumma’ghfir li maa asrartu wa maa
a’lantu (O Allah, forgive me what I have done in secret and
done openly)." (Reported by al-Nisaa'i, al-Mujtabaa, 2/569; Sahih
al-Jaami’, 1067).
One of the things that he (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) used to recite after the Tashahhud
is what we learn from the hadeeth: "When any one of you finishes
the Tashahhud, let him seek refuge with Allah from four things,
from the punishment of Hell, from the punishment of the grave, from
the trials (fitnah) of life and death, and from the evil of the
Dajjal (‘Antichrist’)." He used to say,
"Allahumma innee a’oodhu bika
min sharri maa ‘amiltu wa min sharri maa lam a’mal (O
Allah, I seek refuge with You from the evil of what I have done
and the evil of what I have not done)."
"Allahumma haasibni hisaaban yaseeran
(O Allah, make my accounting easy)."
He taught Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may
Allah be pleased with him) to say, "Allahumma innee zalamtu nafsi
zulman katheeran, wa la yaghfir al-dhunooba illa anta, faghfir li
maghfiratan min ‘indaka warhamni innaka anta al-Ghafoor al-Raheem
(O Allah, I have wronged myself very much, and no one can forgive
sin but You. Grant me forgiveness from You and have mercy on me,
for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)."
He heard a man saying in his Tashahhud:
"Allahumma inne as’aluka yaa Allah al-Ahad al-Samad alladhi
lam yalid wa lam yoolad wa lam yakum lahu kufuwan ahad an taghfir
li dhunoobi innaka anta’l-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allah, I ask
You O Allah, the One, the Self-Sufficient Master, Who begets not
neither is begotten, and there is none like unto Him, to forgive
me my sins, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)." He (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to his companions: "He
has been forgiven, he has been forgiven."
He heard another man saying, "Allahumma
innee as’aluka bi-anna laka’l-hamd, laa ilaaha ill anta
wahdaka laa shareeka lak al-Mannaan yaa badee’ al-samawaati
wa’l-ard, yaa dhaa’l-jalaali wa’l-ikraam, ya hayyu
yaa qayyoom, innee as’aluka al-jannah wa a’oodhu bika
min al-naar (O Allah, I ask You as all praise is due to You, there
is no god but You Alone, with no partner or associate, the Bestower,
O Originator of the heavens and earth, O Possessor of Glory and
Honour, O Ever-Living, O Self-Sustaining, I ask You for Paradise
and I seek refuge with You from Hell)." The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said to his companions: "Do you know by what
did he ask Allah?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best."
He said, "By the One in Whose hand is my soul, he asked Allah by
His greatest Name (ismuhu’l-a’zam) which, when He is
called by it, He responds, and if He is asked by it, He gives."
The last thing he would say between
the Tashahhud and the Tasleem was:
"Allahumma’aghfir li maa qaddamtu
wa ma akhkhartu wa maa asrartu wa maa a’lantu wa maa asraftu
wa maa anta a’lam bihi minni anta’l-muqaddim wa anta’l-mu’akhkhir,
laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allah, forgive me what I have done in the
past, and what I will do in the future, and what I have concealed,
and what I have done openly, and what I have exceeded in, whatever
You know about more than I. You are the Bringer-Forward, and You
are the Delayer, there is no god except You)." (These du'a’s
and others, along with their isnaads, are to be found in Sifat al-Salah
by al-‘Allaamah al-Albaani, p.163, 11th edn.)
Memorizing du'a’s like these
will solve the problem that some people have of remaining silent
behind the Imam when they have finished the Tashahhud because they
do not know what they should say.
Adhkaar to be recited after prayer
These also help to strengthen khushoo’
in the heart and reinforce the blessings and benefits of the prayer.
Without a doubt, one of the best ways
of preserving and protecting a good action is to follow it up with
another. So the one who thinks about the adhkaar that come after
the prayer will find that they begin with seeking forgiveness three
times, as if the worshipper is seeking forgiveness from his Lord
for any shortcomings that may have occurred in his prayer or his
khushoo’. It is also important to pay attention to naafil
(supererogatory) prayers, because they make up for anything lacking
in the fard (obligatory) prayers, including any failure with regard
to khushoo’.
Having discussed things that help us
to have khushoo’, we now move on to a discussion of meetings
at home.
Meetings at Home
Removing anything that may distract
the worshipper
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him)
said: " ‘Aa’ishah had a decorated, colourful curtain
which she used to cover the side of her house. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, ‘Take it
away from me, because its decorations keep distracting me when I
pray.’" (Reported by al-Bukhari, Fath al-Baari, 10/391).
Al-Qaasim reported that ‘Aa’ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) had a cloth with decorations on
it, which she used to cover a small sunken alcove (used for sleeping
or storage).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) used to pray facing it, and he said, ‘Take
it away from me, because its decorations keep distracting me when
I pray.’ So she took it away and made pillows out of it."
(Reported by Muslim in his Sahih, 3/1668).
Another indication of this is the fact
that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
entered the Ka’bah to pray in it, he saw two ram’s horns.
When he had prayed, he told ‘Uthmaan al-Hajabi, "I forgot
to tell you to cover the horns, because there should not be anything
in the House to distract the worshipper." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
2030; Sahih al-Jaami’, 2504).
This also includes avoiding praying
in places where people pass through, or where there is a lot of
noise and voices of people talking, or where they are engaging in
conversations, arguments etc., or where there are visual distractions.
One should also avoid praying in places
that are very hot or very cold, if possible. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) told us to delay praying Zuhr
in summer until the hottest part of the day was over. Ibn al-Qayyim
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: "Praying when it is intensely
hot prevents a person from having the proper khushoo’ and
presence of mind, and he does his worship reluctantly, so the Prophet
wisely told them to delay praying until the heat had lessened somewhat,
so that they could pray with presence of mind and thus achieve the
purpose of prayer, i.e., having khushoo’ and turning to Allah."
(Al-Waabil al-Sayib, Daar al-Bayaan edn., p.22)
Not praying in a garment that has
decorations, writing, bright colours or pictures that will distract
the worshipper
‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) stood up to pray wearing a checkered shirt, and he
looked at the patterns in it. When he had finished his prayer, he
said, "Take this shirt to Abu Jaham ibn Hudhayfah and bring me an
anbajaani (a garment with no decorations or checks), because it
distracted me when I was praying." According to another report:
"These checks distracted me." According to another report: "He had
a checkered shirt, which used to distract him whilst he was praying."
(Reports in Sahih Muslim, no. 556, part 3/391).
It is better not to pray in a garment
that has pictures on it, and we should be especially careful to
avoid garments with pictures of animate beings, like many garments
that are widely available nowadays.
Not praying when there is food prepared
that one wants to eat
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not pray when there is food prepared."
(Reported by Muslim, no. 560).
If food has been prepared and served,
or if it is offered, a person should eat first, because he will
not be able to concentrate properly and have khushoo’ if he
leaves it and gets up to pray when he is wanting to eat. He should
not even hasten to finish eating, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If the dinner is served and
the time for prayer comes, eat dinner before praying Salaat al-Maghrib,
and do not rush to finish your meal." According to another report:
"If dinner has been put out and the iqaamah has been given for prayer,
eat dinner first and do not rush to finish it." (Agreed upon. Al-Bukhari,
Kitaab al-Aadhan, Baab idhaa hadara al-ta’aamu wa uqeemat
al-Salah; Muslim, no. 557-559).
Not praying when one needs to answer
the call of nature
No doubt one of the things that can
prevent proper khushoo’ is praying when one needs to go to
the washroom. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) forbade praying when one is suppressing the urge to urinate
or defecate. (Reported by Ibn Maajah in his Sunan, no. 617; Sahih
al-Jaami’, no. 6832).
If anyone is in this position, he should
first go to the bathroom and answer the call of nature, even if
he misses whatever he misses of the congregational prayer, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If
any one of you needs to go to the toilet, and the prayer has begun,
he should go to the toilet first." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no.
88; Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 299)
If this happens to a person whilst
he is praying, he should stop praying, go and answer the call of
nature, purify himself then pray, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "There is no prayer when there
is food prepared or if one is suppressing the urge to expel waste
matter." (Sahih Muslim, no. 560). Without a doubt, this trying to
suppress the urge takes away khushoo’. This ruling also applies
to suppressing the urge to pass wind.
Not praying when one feels sleepy
Anas ibn Maalik said, "The Messenger
of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If any
one of you feels sleepy when he is praying, he should sleep until
he [is rested enough to] know what he is saying," i.e., he should
take a nap until he no longer feels drowsy. (Reported by al-Bukhari,
no. 210).
This may happen when one is praying
qiyaam al-layl, at the time when prayers are answered, and a person
may pray against himself without realizing it. This hadeeth also
includes fard prayers, when a person is confident that he will still
have enough time to pray after taking a nap. (Fath al-Baari, Sharh
Kitaab al-Wudoo’, Baab al-wudoo’ min al-nawm).
Not praying behind someone who is
talking (or sleeping)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) forbade this; he said: "Do not pray behind one
who is sleeping or one who is talking." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
no. 694; Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 375. He said, a hasan hadeeth).-
because one who is talking will distract the worshipper with his
talk, and one who is sleeping may expose something that will distract
the worshipper.
Al-Khattaabi (may Allah have mercy
on him) said: "As for praying behind people who are talking, al-Shaafa'i
and Ahmad ibn Hanbal considered this to be makrooh, because their
talk distracts the worshipper from his prayer." (‘Awn al-Ma’bood,
2/388).
As regards not praying behind someone
who is sleeping, a number of scholars thought that the evidence
for this was weak (including Abu Dawood in his Sunan, Kitaab al-Salah,
Tafree’ Abwaab al-Witr, Baab al-Du'a’, and Ibn Hajar
in Fath al-Baari, Sharh Baab al-Salah khalf al-Naa’im, Kitaab
al-Salah).
Al-Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on
him, quoted the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah in his Sahih, Baab
al-Salah khalf al-Naa’im: "The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) used to pray whilst I was lying across from
him on his bed…" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitaab al-Salah).
Mujaahid, Taawoos and Maalik thought
it makrooh to pray facing someone who was sleeping, lest he expose
something that would distract the worshipper from his prayer. (Fath
al-Baari, ibid.)
If there is no risk of that happening,
then it is not makrooh to pray behind someone who is sleeping. And
Allah knows best.
Not occupying oneself with smoothing
the ground in front of one
Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on
him) reported from Mu’ayqeeb (may Allah be pleased with him)
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said
concerning a man’s smoothing the ground when he prostrates,
"If you have to do that, then do it only once." (Fath al-Baari,
3/79).
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not wipe (the ground) when you are
praying, but if you have to, then do it only once." (Reported by
Abu Dawood, no. 946; Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 7452).
The reason for this prohibition is
so as to maintain khushoo’, and so that a person will not
make too many extra movements in prayer. If the place where one
is going to prostrate needs to be smoothed, it is better to do this
before starting to pray.
This also applies to wiping the forehead
or nose when praying. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) used to prostrate in water and mud, which would leave
traces on his forehead, but he did not bother to wipe it off every
time he raised his head from sujood. It remained there because he
was so deeply absorbed in his prayer and his khushoo’ was
so strong that he took not notice of it. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Prayer is an occupation in
itself." (Reported by al-Bukhari, Fath al-Baari, 3/72). Ibn Abi
Shaybah reported that Abu’l-Darda’ said: "Even if I
were to get red camels, I would not like to wipe the gravel from
my forehead." ‘Ayaad said: "The salaf did not like to wipe
their foreheads before they finished praying." (al-Fath, 3/79).
Just as a worshipper should avoid anything
that will distract him from his prayer, by the same token he should
avoid disturbing others. This includes:
Not disturbing others with one’s
recitation
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "All of you are speaking to your Lord,
so do not disturb one another, and do not raise your voices above
one another when reciting" or he said, "in prayer." (Reported by
Abu Dawood, 2/83; Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 752). According to
another report, he said, "Do not compete with one another in raising
your voices when reciting Qur'an." (Reported by Imam Ahmad, 2/36;
Sahih al-Jaami’, 1951).
Not turning around during prayer
Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) said: ‘Allah continues to turn towards His slave
whilst he is praying, so long as he does not turn away, but if he
turns away, [Allah] turns away from him." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
no. 909; Sahih Abi Dawood).
Turning away during prayer is of two
types:
The turning away of the heart to
something other than Allah.
The turning away of the eyes.
Both of them are not allowed, and are
detrimental to the reward for the prayer. The Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was asked about turning
away during prayer, and he said: "It is something that Shaytan steals
from a person’s prayer." (Reported by al-Bukhari, Kitaab al-Adhaan,
Baab al-Iltifaat fi’l-Salah).
The one who turns away with his heart
or his eyes during prayer is like a man who is called by the ruler
and made to stand before him, and when the ruler starts to address
him, he turns away, looking to the right and the left, not listening
to what the ruler is saying and not understanding a word of it,
because his heart and mind are elsewhere. What does this man think
the ruler will do to him?
The least that he deserves is that
when he leaves the ruler, he is hated and no longer valued. One
who prays like this is not equal to one who prays with the proper
presence of mind, turning to Allah in his prayer in such a way that
he feels the greatness of the One before Whom he is standing, and
he is filled with fear and submission; he feels too shy before his
Lord to turn to anyone else or to turn away. The difference between
their prayers is as Hassaan ibn ‘Atiyah said: "The two men
may be in one congregation, but the difference in virtue between
them is as great as the distance between heaven and earth. One of
them is turning with all his heart towards Allah, whilst the other
is negligent and forgetful." (Al-Waabil al-Sayib by Ibn al-Qayyim,
Daar al-Bayaan, p. 36).
As for turning away for a genuine reason,
this is OK. Abu Dawood reported that Sahl ibn al-Hanzaliyyah said:
"We started praying – Salaat al-Subh (Fajr) – and the
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was
looking at the ravine." Abu Dawood said: "He had sent a horseman
at night to guard the ravine." This is like when he carried Umaamah
bint Abi’l-‘Aas, and when he opened the door for ‘Aa’ishah,
and when he came down from the minbar whilst praying in order to
teach them, and when he stepped back during Salaat al-Kusoof (prayer
at the time of an eclipse), and when he grabbed and strangled the
Shaytan when he wanted to interrupt his prayer. He also ordered
that snakes and scorpions should be killed even during prayer, and
a person who is praying should stop and even fight one who wants
to pass in front of him whilst he is praying. He told women to clap
during prayer [if they spot a mistake on the part of the imam],
and he used to wave or gesture to people who greeted him whilst
he was praying. These and other actions may be done in cases of
necessity, but if there is no necessity, then they are just idle
gestures that cancel out Khushoo’ and are therefore not allowed
during prayer. (Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 22/559).
Not raising one's gaze to the heavens
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) forbade us to do this and issued a warning against
it. He said: "When any one of you is praying, he should not lift
his gaze to the heavens, lest he lose his sight." (Reported by Ahmad,
5/294; Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 762). According to another report,
he said: "What is wrong with people who lift their gaze to the heavens
whilst they are praying?" According to another report, he said:
"that they raise their gaze when they make du'a’ during Salah?"
(Reported by Muslim, no. 429). He spoke out strongly against it,
to the extent that he said, "Let them stop it, or their eyesight
will be taken away." (Reported by Imam Ahmad, 5/258; Sahih al-Jaami’,
5574).
Not spitting in front of one when
praying
This is incompatible with khushoo’
and good manners before Allah. The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "When any one of you is praying, let
him not spit in front of himself, for Allah is before him when he
prays." (Reported by al-Bukhari in his Sahih, no. 397).
He also said: "When any one of you
stands up to pray, he should not spit in front of himself, because
he is talking to Allah – may He be blessed and exalted –
as long as he is in his prayer place; and he should not [spit] to
his right, because there is an angel on his right. He should spit
to his left, or beneath his feet, and bury it." (Reported by al-Bukhari,
al-Fath, no. 416, 1/512).
He said: "When one of you stands to
pray, he is talking to his Lord, and his Lord is between him and
the qiblah, so none of you should spit in the direction of his qiblah,
but to his left or under his feet." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath
al-Baari, no. 417, 1/513).
If the mosque is furnished with carpets
and so on, as is the norm nowadays, if a person needs to spit, he
can take out a handkerchief or whatever, spit into it, and put it
away again.
Trying not to yawn when praying
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "If any one of you feels the urge to
yawn during prayer, let him suppress it as much as he can, lest
the Shaytan enter…" (Reported by Muslim, 4/2293). If the Shaytan
enters, he will be more able to disturb the worshipper’s khushoo’,
in addition to laughing at him when he yawns.
Not putting one’s hands on
one’s hips when praying
Abu Hurayrah said: "The Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade putting
the hands on the hips during prayer." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no.
947; Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitaab al-‘Aml fi’l-Salah, Baab
al-Hadhr fi’l-Salah).
Ziyaad ibn Subayh al-Hanafi said: "I
prayed beside Ibn ‘Umar and I put my hand on my hip, but he
struck my hand. When he had finished praying, he said, "This is
crossing in prayer. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) used to forbid this." (Reported by Imam Ahmad,
2/106 and others. Classed as Sahih by al-Haafiz al-‘Iraaqi
in Takhreej al-Ihyaa’. See al-Irwaa’, 2/94).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that this posture is how
the people of Hell rest; we seek refuge with Allah from that. (Reported
by al-Bayhaqi from Abu Hurayrah. Al-‘Iraaqi said, its isnaad
appears to be Sahih).
Not letting one’s clothes hang
down (sadl) during prayer
It was reported that the Messenger
of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade letting
one’s clothes hang down during prayer or for a man to cover
his mouth. (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 643; Sahih al-Jaami’,
no. 6883. He said, this is a hasan hadeeth). In ‘Awn al-Ma’bood
(2/347) al-Khattaabi said: "Al-sadl: letting one's clothes hang
down all the way to the ground." It was reported in Marqaat al-Mafaateeh
(2/236): "Al-sadl is completely forbidden because it has to do with
showing off, and in prayer it is even worse." The author of al-Nihaayah
said: "It means wrapping oneself up in one's garment, leaving one’s
hands inside and bowing and prostrating in it." It was said that
the Jews used to do this. It was also said that al-sadl meant putting
the garment over one’s head or shoulders, and letting its
edges come down in front and over one’s upper arms, so that
a person will be preoccupied in taking care of it, which reduces
khushoo’, unlike garments that are tied up properly or buttoned,
which do not distract the worshipper or affect his khushoo’.
These kinds of clothes are still to be found nowadays in some parts
of Africa and elsewhere, and in the way some Arabian cloaks are
worn, which distract the worshipper and keep him busy adjusting
them, retying them if they become loose and so on. This should be
avoided.
The reason why it is forbidden to cover
one’s mouth was explained by the scholars as being because
that prevents a person from reciting Qur'an and doing sujood properly.
(Marqaat al-Mafaateeh, 2/236).
Not resembling animals
Allah has honoured the son of Adam
and created him in the best way, so it is shameful for the son of
Adam to resemble or imitate animals. We have been forbidden to resemble
or imitate a number of postures or movements of animals when we
pray, because that is contrary to khushoo’ or because it is
ugly and does not befit the worshipper who is praying. For example,
it was reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) forbade three things in prayer: pecking like
a crow, spreading one’s forearms like a carnivore, or always
praying in the same place like a camel keeping to its own territory.
(Reported by Ahmad, 3/428). It was said that when a man always prays
in the same place in the mosque, making it his own, it is like a
camel keeping to its own territory. (Al-Fath al-Rabaani, 4/91).
According to another report: "He forbade me to peck like a cockerel,
to sit like a dog or to turn like a fox." (Reported by Imam Ahmad,
2/311; Sahih al-Targheeb, no. 556).
This is what we were able to mention
about the means of attaining Khushoo’, so that we may strive
for them, and about the things that detract from Khushoo’,
so that we can avoid them.
There is another issue that has to
do with Khushoo’, to which the scholars attached so much importance
that it is worthy of mention here:
Good Manners at Home
Spreading kindness in the home.
‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: ‘When Allah – may He be
glorified – wills some good towards the people of a household,
He introduces kindness among them.’" (Reported by Imam Ahmad
in al-Musnad, 6/71; Sahih al-Jaami’, 303).
According to another report: "When
Allah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among
them." (Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Sahih al-Jaami’,
no. 1704). In other words, they start to be kind to one another.
This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for
kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children,
and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah
loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward
for harshness or for anything else." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab
al-Birr wa’l-Sillah wa’l-Aadaab, no. 2592).
(22) Helping one’s wife with
the housework.
Many men think that housework is beneath
them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status
and position if they help their wives with this work.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him), however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend
his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes."
(Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Sahih al-Jaami’,
4927).
This was said by his wife ‘Aa’ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her), when she was asked about what the
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used
to do in his house; her response described what she herself had
seen. According to another report, she said: "He was like any other
human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve
himself." (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat
al-Sahihah, 671). She (may Allah be pleased with her) was also asked
about what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) used to do in his house, and she said, "He used to
serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go
out to pray." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 2/162).
If we were to do likewise nowadays,
we would achieve three things:
We would be following the example
of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
We would be helping our wives
We would feel more humble, not arrogant.
Some men demand food instantly from
their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming
to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while
for the food. Let these Ahaadeeth be a reminder and a lesson.
Being affectionate towards and joking
with the members of the family
Showing affection towards one’s
wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an
atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger
of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) advised Jaabir
to marry a virgin, saying, "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you
could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make
her laugh and she could make you laugh?" (The hadeeth is reported
in a number of places in the Sahihayn, such as al-Bukhari, al-Fath,
9/121). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also
said: "Everything in which Allah’s name is not mentioned is
idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his
wife…" (Reported by al-Nisaa'i in ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’,
p. 87; also in Sahih al-Jaami’). The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) used to treat his wife ‘Aa’ishah
affectionately when doing ghusl with her, as she (may Allah be pleased
with her) said: "The Messenger of Allah and I used to do ghusl together
from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the water so that
I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me,’"
– and both of them were in a state of janaabah (impurity).
(Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 4/6).
The ways in which the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) showed affection towards young
children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show
his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned above. This
is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice when
he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as
reported in the Sahih hadeeth: "Whenever he came back from a journey,
the children of his household would be taken out to meet him." He
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to hug them close
to him, as ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ja;far said: "Whenever the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came back from a journey,
we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn
and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his
back, until we entered Madeenah." (Sahih Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see
the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).
Compare this with the situation in
some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes
that do not involve lying], no affection and no mercy.
Whoever thinks that kissing his children
goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following
hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, and al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi
was sitting with him. Al-Aqra’ said: ‘I have ten children
and I have never kissed any one of them.’ The Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) looked at him and
said: ‘The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’"
Resisting bad manners in the home.
Every member of the household is bound
to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping
and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed.
Some people think that corporal punishment
is the only way to deal with such things. The following hadeeth
is very educational on this topic: from ‘Aa’ishah (may
Allah be pleased with her) who said: "If the Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came to know that one
of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until
he repented." (See al-Musnad by Imam Ahmad, 6/152. The text of the
hadeeth is also in Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 4675).
It is clear from the hadeeth that turning
away and forsaking a person by not speaking to them, rather than
resorting to punishment, is effective in such circumstances, and
may be more effective than physical punishment, so let parents and
caregivers think about this.
"Hang up the whip where the members
of the household can see it."
(Reported by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah,
7/332; al-Silsilat al-Sahihah, no. 1446).
Hinting at punishment is an effective
means of discipline, so the reason for hanging up a whip or stick
in the house was explained in another report, where the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Hang up the whip
where the members of the household can see it, for this is more
effective in disciplining them." (Reported by al-Tabarani, 10/344-345;
al-Silsilat al-Sahihah, no. 1447)
Seeing the means of punishment hanging
up will make those who have bad intentions refrain from indulging
in bad behaviour, lest they get a taste of the punishment. It will
motivate them to behave themselves and be well mannered. Ibn al-Anbaari
said: "There is nothing to suggest that it should be used for hitting,
because [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)]
did not command anyone to do that. What he meant was: keep on disciplining
them." (See Fayd al-Qadeer by al-Mannaawi, 4/325).
Hitting is not the way to discipline;
it is not to be resorted to, except when all other means are exhausted,
or when it is needed to force someone to do obligatory acts of obedience,
as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… As to those
women on whose part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first),
(next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly,
if it is useful)…" [al-Nisa’ 4:34] – in that order.
There is also the hadeeth: "Order your children to pray when they
are seven years old, and hit them if they do not do so when they
are ten." (Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/334; see also Irwa’ al-Ghaleel,
1/266).
As for hitting unnecessarily, this
is aggression. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) advised a woman not to marry a man because he always
had his stick on his shoulder, i.e., he used to beat his wives.
On the other hand, there are those who think that they should never
use this method of discipline at all, following some kafir educational
theories; this is also a mistaken opinion that goes against the
sharee’ah.
Evils in the Home
Beware of non-mahrem relatives entering
upon women when their husbands are absent.
Men and women should sit separately
during family visits.
Be aware of the dangers of having male
drivers and female servants in the house.
Kick immoral people out of your houses.
Beware of the dangers of TV and its
effects and ability to influence family members.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
You have to remove everything that
contains symbols of the false religions of the kuffar or their gods
and objects of worship.
Removing pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes
(keep it simple).
The Home inside and out
Choosing a good location and design
of home.
No doubt the true Muslim pays attention
to the choice and design of a home in ways that others do not.
With regard to location, for example:
The home should be close to a mosque.
This has obvious advantages: the call to prayer will remind people
of prayer and wake them up for it; living close to the mosque
will enable men to join the congregational prayers, women to listen
to the Qur'an recitation and dhikr over the mosque’s loudspeakers,
and children to join study-circles for memorization of Qur'an,
and so on.
The home should not be in a building
where there are immoral people or in a compound where kuffaar
live and where there is a mixed swimming pool and so on.
The house should not overlook others
or be overlooked; if it is, he should put up curtains and make
walls and fences higher.
With regard to design and lay out,
for example:
He should pay attention to the matter
of segregating men and women when non-mahrams come to visit, e.g.
separate entrances and sitting areas. If that cannot be done,
then use should be made of curtains, screens and so on.
Covering windows, so that neighbors
or people in the street will not be able to see who is in the
house, especially at night when the lights are on.
The toilets should not be sited in
such a way that one faces the qiblah when using them.
Choosing a spacious house with plenty
of amenities.
This is for a number of reasons:
"Allah loves to see the signs of
His blessings on His slave." (Hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi,
no. 2819. He said: This is a hasan hadeeth).
"There are three elements of happiness
and three elements of misery. The elements of happiness are: a
righteous wife, who when you see her she pleases you, and when
you are absent from her you feel that you can trust her with regard
to herself and your wealth; a compliant riding-beast that helps
you to keep up with your companions; and a house that is spacious
and has plenty of amenities. The elements of misery are: a wife
who when you see her you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally,
and when you are absent from her you do not feel that you can
trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a stubborn riding-beast
that if whip it, you get tired, and if you do not whip it, it
does not help you to keep up with your companions; and a house
with few amenities." (Hadeeth narrated by al-Haakim, 3/262; Sahih
al-Jaami’, no. 3056).
Paying attention to health-related
matters such as ventilation, natural light and so on. These matters
depend on financial ability and feasibility.
Choosing the neighbor before the house.
This is a matter, which has to be singled
out for discussion because of its importance.
Nowadays neighbors have more impact
on one another, because houses are closer together and people live
together in buildings, apartments and compounds.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) told us of four causes of happiness, one of
which is a righteous neighbor, and four causes of misery, one of
which is a bad neighbor. (Reported by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah,
8/388; Sahih al-Jaami’, 887). Because of the seriousness of
the latter, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
used to seek refuge with Allah from bad neighbours in his du'a’:
"Allahumma innee a’oodhu bika min jaar al-soo’ fi daar
il-muqaamah fa inna jaar al-baadiyah yatahawwil (O Allah, I seek
refuge with You from a bad neighbour in my permanent home, for the
neighbour in the desert [i.e. on a journey] moves on)." He commanded
the Muslims to seek refuge with Allah from a bad neighbour in a
permanent home because the neighbour in the desert will eventually
move on. (Reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, no. 117;
Sahih al-Jaami’, 2967).
There is no room here to talk about
the influence a bad neighbor may have on a couple and their children,
or the kinds of nuisance he can cause, or the misery of living next
to him. But applying these Ahaadeeth quoted above to one's own life
should be sufficient for the one who is possessed of understanding.
Another practical solution is that implemented by some good people
who rent neighboring homes for their families, so as to solve the
neighbor problem. This may be an expensive solution, but a good
neighbor is priceless.
Paying attention to necessary repairs
in the home, and making sure that the amenities are in good working
order.
Among the blessings of Allah in this
modern age are the "mod cons" that He has bestowed upon us, which
make many things easier and save time, such as air-conditioners,
fridge's, washing-machines and so on. It is wise to have the best
quality of appliances that one can afford, without being extravagant
or putting oneself under financial strain. We should also be careful
to distinguish between useful extras and extravagant additions that
have no real value.
Part of caring for the home includes
fixing appliances and amenities that break down. Some people neglect
these things, and their wives complain about homes crawling with
vermin, with overflowing drains and piles of stinking garbage, filled
with broken and worn out furniture.
No doubt this is one of the obstacles
to happiness in the home, and causes problems in the marriage and
health problems. The smart person is the one who hastens to fix
these things.
Paying attention to the family’s
health and safety procedures.
When any member of his family got sick,
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
would blow on them and recite al-Mi’wadhatayn (last two soorahs
of the Qur'an). (Reported by Muslim, no. 2192).
When one of his family members got
sick, he would call for soup, and it would be made for him, then
he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, "It will strengthen
the heart of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart
of the one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from
her face." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2039; Sahih al-Jaami’,
no. 4646).
One of the ways of taking safety precautions
is:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) said: "When evening comes, keep your children
inside, for the shayaateen (devils) spread out at that time. Then
when an hour of the night has passed, let your children go, lock
the doors and mention the name of Allah, cover your pots and mention
the name of Allah, even if you only place a stick across the top
of your vessel, and extinguish your lamps." (Reported by al-Bukhari,
al-Fath, 10/88-89).
According to a report narrated by Muslim,
he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Lock your doors,
cover your vessels, extinguish your lamps and tie your knots properly
[i.e., cover your jugs properly – in those days they would
cover them with a piece of cloth and tie it], for the Shaytan does
not open a door that is closed, or uncover something that is covered,
or untie a knot that you tie. And the mouse could set the house
on fire (i.e. it could pull out the wick of the lamp and set the
house on fire)." (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/103); Sahih
al-Jaami’, 1080).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said: "Do not leave fires lit in your houses
when you go to sleep." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 11/85).
And Allah knows best.
May Allah bless our
Prophet Muhammad (saws)
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